Internal Family Systems: A Guide to Parts Work

You know that inner critic, the one that tells you you're not good enough? The anxious voice that runs through worst-case scenarios at 3am?

Most approaches to self-improvement treat these as problems to fix, bad habits to break, negative thoughts to silence.

Internal Family Systems sees them differently: parts of you, doing their best to help. And when you learn to work with them instead of against them, something shifts.

Where IFS came from

Internal Family Systems was developed in the 1980s by Dr. Richard Schwartz, a family therapist who noticed something unexpected while working with clients struggling with eating disorders.

When he asked them about their behaviors, they described parts with distinct thoughts and urges. An inner critic that attacked them after meals, a desperate part that drove the binge, and a worthless part that got triggered when the critic spoke. These parts had relationships with each other: some fought, others formed alliances or protected each other.

Schwartz realized he was seeing an internal family system, not unlike the external families he'd been trained to work with. And the same principles applied: fighting or exiling family members only made things worse. What helped was curiosity, compassion, and building trust.

Over the following decades, IFS grew into one of the most widely practiced therapeutic approaches in the world. It's now used for anxiety, depression, trauma, addiction, and relationship issues. Research has shown it to be effective, and in 2015 it was listed in the National Registry for Evidence-based Programs and Practices.

Understanding your parts

In IFS, the mind is understood as naturally multiple. The conflicting thoughts in your mind belong to different parts, each with its own perspective, feelings, and intentions.

This might sound strange at first. But think about your own experience. Have you ever said, "Part of me wants to, but another part of me is scared"? Or felt torn between two choices, as if different voices inside you were debating?

That's multiplicity. In IFS, this is simply how minds work.

Protectors

Most parts you'll encounter first are protectors. These are the parts that manage your daily life and try to keep you safe from pain.

Some protectors work proactively. They push you to achieve, to be perfect, to stay busy, to avoid conflict. They might show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, overworking, or excessive planning. In IFS, these are called Managers. They're trying to keep things under control so nothing bad happens.

Other protectors react when pain breaks through despite the managers' efforts. They might numb you out with food, alcohol, scrolling, or sleep. They might flood you with rage or shut you down entirely. In IFS, these are called Firefighters. Their job is to put out emotional fires by any means necessary, even if it causes problems later.

You probably recognize some of your own protectors. The inner critic that pushes you to do better, or the procrastinator that helps you avoid things that feel overwhelming.

These parts are working hard to help you. But they often use strategies they learned long ago, in situations where those strategies made sense. Now they might be causing more harm than good, but they don't know how to stop.

Exiles

Protectors are protecting something. In IFS, they're usually protecting younger, more vulnerable parts called Exiles.

Exiles carry the pain from past experiences, often from childhood. They hold the feelings that were too overwhelming to process at the time: shame, fear, loneliness, worthlessness. Because these feelings are so intense, the protectors work hard to keep them locked away.

You might notice exiles as sudden waves of emotion that seem to come from nowhere, like a flash of shame over a small mistake or panic at the thought of being abandoned.

Exiles are wounded parts of you that got stuck in the past, even though protectors treat them as dangerous. They're still carrying pain from experiences that happened long ago, often not realizing that time has passed and that you're no longer in that situation.

Self

Here's what makes IFS different from other approaches: beneath all the parts, there's something else. IFS calls it Self.

Self is different from parts. It's who you are when your parts relax and give you space. It's a natural state of calm, clarity, curiosity, and compassion. You've probably experienced it, even briefly: moments when you felt centered, present, able to handle whatever was happening without being overwhelmed.

In IFS, the Self is already there, undamaged and whole, just often obscured by protective parts that have taken over.

The goal of IFS is to help the Self take the lead, building relationships with parts and helping them heal, rather than getting rid of them or fixing them.

The goal of IFS

The aim of parts work is what IFS calls Self-leadership: living from that centered, compassionate place rather than being driven by reactive parts.

Parts stay with you, but they no longer run the show. When anxiety rises, you notice it as a part asking for attention and can respond with care rather than being overwhelmed.

When parts feel heard and understood by the Self, they naturally relax and ease up. The critic that drove you to exhaustion can soften into a supportive advisor. The exile that carried shame can finally let it go.

This transformation happens through relationship, not force or willpower. Parts change when met with curiosity and appreciation, and when they trust the Self can handle what they've been protecting.

What happens in a parts work session

A typical IFS session follows a natural flow, though each session is different depending on what arises.

Finding a part. You start by noticing what's present. This might be an emotion you've been feeling, a thought that keeps returning, a sensation in your body, or a behavior you want to understand. Any of these can be a "trailhead" that leads to a part.

Getting curious. Once you've identified a part, you focus on it and notice how you feel toward it. If you feel critical, annoyed, or afraid of it, that's another part reacting. You ask that reactive part to step back so you can approach the target part with genuine curiosity.

Listening. From a curious, open place, you begin a conversation with the part. You might ask what it wants you to know, what it's worried about, what it's protecting you from. The answers often surprise you. Parts have stories to tell about how they came to do what they do.

Understanding its role. As you listen, you learn what the part is protecting and why it uses the strategies it does. Often, parts are frozen in the past, still reacting to situations that no longer exist. Understanding this helps you appreciate why the part behaves the way it does.

Building trust. As the part feels heard and understood, it begins to trust you. It relaxes its grip and becomes willing to consider other ways of helping. This happens naturally when a part feels genuinely seen by Self.

Healing. If the part is protecting an exile, and if both part and exile are ready, deeper healing can happen. The Self can witness what the exile experienced and help it release the burdens it's been carrying. This process, called unburdening, often brings lasting change.

Why self-led parts work actually works

Parts work is traditionally done with a trained therapist guiding the process. But the core of IFS is actually self-led. The healing happens between you and your parts, with the therapist simply helping you access Self and navigate the process.

This is what makes Mindkin possible. The structure of IFS, with its clear steps and internal focus, lends itself to guided self-practice. You already know your parts. You just need a framework for listening to them in a new way.

What Mindkin provides is that framework: prompts to help you notice what's present, questions to deepen your curiosity, guidance to help you stay in Self when parts get activated. The app helps you do the work yourself.

Self-led practice also has advantages. You can work at your own pace in short sessions that fit your life, developing skills you carry with you long after any single session ends.

Parts work isn't always easy. Strong feelings can come up. That's normal, and it's part of the healing. Mindkin is designed to help you pace yourself, to work with what's ready to be worked with, and to build your capacity gradually.